The Following Took Place Between 4:00AM and 5:00AM . . .

4:00AM - I lay peacefully asleep.
4:01 AM - I spring into a sitting position as my cat, Jinx, sneezes RIGHT in my face. I mean literally, my face got wet from it. Gross. I say "Jinx!" - and lightly toss her off the bed.
4:14 AM - Finally get back to sleep.
4:15 AM - Jinx jumps back on bed, on me, and starts kneading me, as she purrs like a freight train right in my face. She then continues on and starts kneading my hair and basically lays right on my head. I say "Jinx! That's enough." - and lightly toss her off the bed.
4:29 AM - Finally back to sleep.
4:30 AM - Tag Team! Nina (other kitty) jumps on bed and jumps on me. Starts kneading me. Then comes over to the side right in my face and rubs her head on mine (while she also is purring like a freight train). She then tries to stick her head under my hand so that I pet her. I say "Nina! That's enough." - and throw her all the way across the room! Kidding! I lightly toss her off the bed.
4:44 AM - Finally back to sleep (kinda).
4:45 AM - Nina jumps back on the bed. Starts purring and sitting on my head. At this point, I'm just starting to get extremely frustrated. Why can't our kitties let us sleep!? This happens EVERY night. Except usually not for an hour straight. So I let her just lay on my head thinking maybe she'll stop purring and I can just go back to sleep.
5:00 AM - Motor mouth is still purring away. Me - "Shaneeeeeeeeee. The cats won't leave me alone. I've been up since 4 AM. I'm going to cry." Shane then picks up Nina off my head, goes and finds Jinx, and puts them in our computer room for the remainder of the morning so I can get some sleep.